just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
