i always forget guys have bellybuttons
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
