Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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