It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize