im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
