YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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