he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
