no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
