Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize