Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
