My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize