i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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