Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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