I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize