I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
