This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
