you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
