Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
