It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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