and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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