dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
