I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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