she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
