I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize