i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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