if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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