dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
