It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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