You're completely useless in the revolution.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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