So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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