just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
