I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
