i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
