I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
