Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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