K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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