I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
