wanna go halves on a baby?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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