Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i out mim tonsoeep
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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