its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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