it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
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I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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