JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize