At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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