im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
