Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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