Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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