His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
