I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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