I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
