Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
