Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
