He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
