I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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