worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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