Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We have so much sex to catch up on
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
