we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
