he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
