His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
